Mr. Wetzel's career choices

Wetzel's Pretzels can be found in malls across the country, but what if Mr. Wetzel was of any other name?  Would we still have a Wetzel's Pretzels shop pumping sweet dough smells throughout your shopping mall?  Something tells me that a Smith's Pretzels wouldn't have quite the same success. 

So, the real question here is whether or not Mr. Wetzel felt an obligation to become a pretzel maker.  Did he have the same freedom to choose his career as you or I did?  I'm guessing that I enjoyed more freedom of choice because my name doesn't rhyme with anything soft and delicious.  To the contrary, Mr. Wetzel's name had to have played a major role in his career choice.  He surely couldn't deny the calling--his destiny was determined long before he could choose.  It's too cool to pass up and I am willing to believe that Mr. Wetzel is a pretty cool guy.  He peddles pretzels for a living, I mean, come on!  Dang it.  Now I want a soft, chewy pretzel.  Damn you, Wetzel!

Some people used to be fat

...And some people used to be skinny.  This was my thought when I first heard of the MTV show, "I Used To Be Fat."  I would be willing to wager that the more appealing show would be, "I Used To Be Skinny."  So many more people would be able to relate to this show.  The majority of college freshman, pregnant women, people who like Oreos, those not willing to work out, etc.  There's your massive market, MTV.  And it will only continue to grow (pun intended).

The premise of the show could be this: you film an 18 year old kid about to go to college (the skinny days when he or she was maybe a high school athlete and burned more calories than ingested) and continue to film through the first year of college.  He or she drinks plenty beer, eats nothing but cafeteria slop, and neglects his or her exercise routine due to an excessive classload requiring many late nights (productive or not, this student is still not sleeping much).  Then the student returns to his or her hometown for Winter break.  The reunion is classic TV; the friends try not to laugh or smirk, the parents question their choice to let their kid care for themselves.  Boom! Ratings GOLD.  I need to bring this idea to MTV, I'm sure they'd be receptive.

The effect of exercise on boobs

I have a great girlfriend and I love her to death.  She's also quite funny--often without realizing it and I can rest assured that I'll be entertained for life.  One time she dropped this great nugget of knowledge and told me this: "If I start working out, you do realize that the first part of me to lose weight will be my boobs."  Screech.  I, in fact, did not know this.  This was news to my male brain.  Is this real or is it a hoax that she concocted in order to have a great excuse not to work out and simultaneously have my support in that choice to not work out?  I can't be sure, but I am sure that my first thought was, "would you like some ice cream?"